1stwitness | (no subject)

"He does. Yes, he does. But it -- he's not -- Ichabod, imagine coming home from a hard day at work, only to discover that everything you've done, all the good you feel like you've effected on the world, imagine remembering it's all a lie."

She sighs.

"It's a crushing weight to carry. And he seems to want to carry that burden alone."

"Not a lie, I think, if he helps those working with him - but I know, that would not help a great deal. If he is that sort of man, though, the man's man as you said... he might feel it is the only appropriate thing to do, to carry it alone."

"Yes, I agree that he's helping, but not in the fashion he believes he should. He goes through that door, and believes he's the Sheriff of his patch, grinding his bootheel into the faces of thugs and criminals. I'm not even sure he knows what he's supposed to be doing with his charges, given recent experiences. I suspect he thinks things will just -- sort themselves out on their own."

"He may well think it's appropriate not to speak of it, but the last time he pretended nothing was wrong, it almost cost us everything. And on top of all that, I don't want to be a constant reminder of what he really is. I don't want him look at me and see the woman who found his grave and dug up his bones with her bare hands."

It's a lot to deal with, and he may have taken her thumb out of the dam.

It was what he was trying to do, he'll live with it.

"But with him remembering, as he must", he says gently, "the only thing that can change that perception - if he does indeed have it - is time."

Unless she were to leave, but he won't suggest that. It would never be the right thing to do.

She nods, answering him with a huge sigh.

"I know that. I do. I just have to be patient. He'll come around, eventually. He always does."

Not always, not without sharp kick to the backside anyway. And she'd never leave him. She only hopes he knows that, somehow.

"Patient and persistent", he adds with a faint smile. "Keep trying, or you will never know when the time is right for success."

"It is a wound that only time can heal," she says, and despite her smile, she sounds tired. "But we don't walk away from the people we love just because things get difficult, do we?"

It's not really a question.

Ahead of them, it's getting brighter again.

"Never." He means that absolutely. "If, sometimes, we may need support to remain."

She turns her head to look at him, and gives him a genuine smile. He gets it. It's so good to have a friend who gets it, after all this time.

"I've got your back if you've got mine."

"Then we have an agreement."

He smiles back.

She nods, and turns back down the aisle.

"Bloody hell."

They're back at the main reading room, emerging at the opposite end of the table from where they left.

She laughs, turning back to him. "Can you believe this?"

Ichabod chuckles, adding a note to his map.

"Well, it is consistency of a sort."

"Yes, if you're a ball of string that's spent an hour in the company of a playful kitten, perhaps."

She spins on one heel again.

"But this is actually good. I should get back, and next time, I'll bring a proper notebook. And maybe a picnic lunch."

"And next time, perhaps we can take more time with the library's holdings", he suggests. "Now we have established how it functions."

"Yes, I like this plan."

She reaches out and touches his arm, her grip sliding down to grip his hand.

"Thanks. For the adventure, and -- for listening."

He squeezes her hand, briefly.

"You are quite welcome, my friend."